Muggle Experience
by Englishgirl
Summary: Harry, Ron and Draco have to spend 2 months in a muggle school and live with the Dursleys!!!
1. Default Chapter

MUGGLE EXPERIENCE  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any names places people etc involved with Harry potter If I owned this would I be writing fan fiction instead of living it up in some HUGE!!!!! Mansion.  
  
The summer passed without any real event. Harry and Ron were on the train to Hogwarts, speeding past fields on either side of the train, a muggle village just visible in the distance. The two of them were getting dressed into their robes and talking about the year ahead.  
  
"Mum said there was going to be a change in the school curriculum this year" Ron said to Harry who was currently doing up his tie in front of the window.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Harry said " what's that" as he said this he fell over onto the floor of the compartment with a loud thud as the train took an unexpected turning. "Ow."  
  
Chuckling Ron replied "Something called muggle experience, I think we have to study about them for a couple of months outside of school" as Harry stood up he said to Ron  
  
"WHAT!" He stared at Ron " you have got to be kidding me?"  
  
"Nope, straight up!" Ron said as he sat down in his seat. He pulled a pile of chocolate frog cards and began to count them.  
  
Harry finished getting changed and sat down also. "How are we going to get out of school?" Harry said  
  
"Dumbledore has arranged something we get the list today during the feast" Ron put the cards down and said "finished, 547!"  
  
Harry looked over at him sand frowned.  
  
"Where's Hermione"  
  
"She is up at the top of the carriage talking to the driver" Ron said "you know she doesn't travel well"  
  
Harry looked at Ron and said, "You know Hermione?"  
  
"Yeah" Ron replied  
  
"You" Harry paused "you like her don't you?"  
  
"Well," Ron looked up at the carriage ceiling as though very interested in it "Yeah s'pose so" Ron said suddenly busying himself in his trunk.  
  
At this Moment Draco Malfoy walked into the room "Ah Potter" he sat down next to Harry  
  
"Get out" Harry said  
  
"Now, now, Potter no need to be like that" Malfoy said "So what do you think about this muggle experience"  
  
Harry was Just about to leave the room to see where Hermione had got to when the train stopped and They disembarked to go to Hogwarts.  
  
They arrived in the feast and Dumbledore told them all about the Muggle experience they would all have to do. He read out the groups they were to be travailing in. He got down to Hermione's name and said: Hermione Granger, Vincent Crabbe and Susan Bones. When He got down to Harry's name he read out: "Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy"  
  
As he feast continued Ron started to say to Harry "Can you believe it me and you have to spend two months with that fool at a muggle school. I mean GOD! We have to go to classes with him and everything. Well to look on the bright side at least we have each other to talk to!"  
  
"And to add insult to injury we have to stay at the Dursleys!"  
  
A/N: this is my first fan fiction, please review and be nice 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - not mine, mot making any money, no intended infringement of copyright etc.  
  
OK. I have had enough. My brother is never going to finish this so I will.  
  
WARNING; this story is going to be in a different style to chapter 1.  
  
  
  
MUGGLE EXPERIENCE CHAPTER 2  
  
That night Harry barely slept at all. How were the Dursleys going to react to seeing 3 wizards arriving on their doorsteps for a few months! Surely no amount of money would be able to persuade them.  
  
The next morning every fifth year in the castle was gathered in the entrance hall dressed in muggle clothing (Dumbledore had supplied it to all those from pure blood families).  
  
Everyone in the hall looked either nervous or disgusted (In the slytherins cases).  
  
Dumbledore stood in front of the great doors and addressed the year "Alright, I am sure you are all very excited, but there are a few things that must be discussed before you all leave. Firstly, the families that have agreed to take you in are only doing so on the premise that no magic of any kind will be cast in their houses and that any and all house rules must be obeyed. The host schools are under the impression that you are all students at private schools doing a project of different teaching styles. Do not; under ANY circumstances give yourselves away. Now I would like you to come up in your groups and portkey to designated areas near your new 'homes'"  
  
Draco walked up to Ron and Harry. "so, what is this freak house like then. Do they have actual rooms or is it like a mud hut?"  
  
"It's just a house. With people a lot like you in it. The only difference is that they hate magic not muggles. Be prepared to feel what it's like on the receiving end for once." Harry was not in the mood for Draco today. He was too terrified about how the Dursleys were going to treat them.  
  
The three boys stepped forwards and touched the portkey. Within a few seconds they were standing in an alleyway around the corner from Privet Drive. Harry knew it well, Dudley's gang chased him down there many a time.  
  
"Where are we?" Ron asked  
  
"just round the corner, follow me."  
  
The three of them walked out into the street, Draco muttering about how his father would simply not allow such alleyways to exist around his manor. Harry led them into Privet Drive and up to his house.  
  
"It's so tiny! Ho the hell are we supposed to fit in there? I have a whole wing to myself usually!"  
  
"Shut up Malfoy" Harry and Ron said simultaneously. Harry approached the door and rang the bell. His uncle answered,  
  
"You're here. Inside now before somebody sees!" he dragged the boys in and guided them into the lounge. "right. You three are to stay inside the house at all times and keep your heads down, got me!" Harry was glad that Malfoy didn't have his wand - otherwise he would probably have cursed his uncle into oblivion by now.  
  
"Uncle Vernon, why did you agree to take us?"  
  
"Money."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Uncle Vernon rounded on Ron and Draco "You two are to stay in Harry's room, one on the bed and the other on the floor. Harry, you know where you'll be. Go upstairs all of you. Leave for school in half an hour, the uniforms are on the bed."  
  
The boys tramped up the stairs and flopped down in a line on Harry's bed. "This, is your room Potter?"  
  
"yes." Said harry. He knew that Draco wouldn't be able to resist picking fault with every aspect of his life, and so decided that it would be safer to just refuse to play along.  
  
"I am NOT sleeping on the floor. Weasley can."  
  
"No way!"  
  
"Go on Ron. The bed's uncomfortable anyway. The air mattress is much better." Harry said. With that he pulled an already blown up air mattress form under the bed and chucked a blanket and pillow on it. Draco and Ron threw themselves on it and proceeded to have a very girly fight over who would sleep on it. Draco won.  
  
"Where are you sleeping Harry?" Ron asked.  
  
"downstairs." Harry replied.  
  
"Oh." Ron replied.  
  
"is that fat muggle related to you?" Draco asked  
  
"No!" Harry nearly yelled back. He grabbed one of the uniforms and went into the bathroom.  
  
"Touchy isn't he?"  
  
"Shut up Malfoy." Ron selected another uniform and looked at it in horror "it's"  
  
"Grey." finished Draco. "disgusting. Look, even the tie."  
  
"Mine has red spots on it though!" Ron said brightly "Oh wait, I think that's tomato sauce."  
  
  
  
When they had finally got dressed, decided which school bags they had etc. They were finally on their way.  
  
"This is where I was going to go before I got the Hogwarts letter." Harry said  
  
"really? So this would like, be your life if your were a muggle?"  
  
"Yeah, I suppose so."  
  
As they approached the school, Ron and Draco stopped in horror. This wasn't a school! It looked more like a converted prison. "We can't chicken out now!" Said Harry and ascended the steps into the school.  
  
The foyer was large with white walls and pale blue floor tiles. A large reception desk stood at the side with a very bored looking secretary staring into space. "Uh, Excuse me?" Harry said tempted (but not brave enough) to wave his hand in front of the woman's face.  
  
She jumped in surprise and replied "Yeah. How can I help you?"  
  
"We're the exchange students. We need to know where to go."  
  
"Oh. Here are your timetables. First you have to go to registration. Your form room's the end of that corridor." She gestured vaguely over her shoulder and gave Harry three timetables"  
  
"Polite.." muttered Draco as they chose a random corridor and walked down it.  
  
"Chemistry first." Said Harry  
  
"Chemistry?"  
  
"It's like potions. Kind of."  
  
When they entered the classroom they froze. The class was full of boys who were having a violent paper - ball fight, girls who were smearing make - up on their faces, a boy who was practicing his graffiti tag on the blackboard and a small group of teens who had their noses in the newest star trek novel. "Welcome to your typical Muggle high school" Harry whispered to the others. The class, for their part gave little sign that they'd noticed Harry, Ron and Draco so they just selected three empty desks and sat down.  
  
About five minutes later a woman walked into the room, threw the board rubber at the wall to get the classes attention and sat down at her desk. She introduced Harry, Ron and Draco to the rest of the class, who grunted in acknowledgement and took the register. Ron was looking around and excited expression on his face. Harry had the sneaky suspicion that he found it 'cute'. Draco was squinting at the blackboard trying to read the graffiti tag.  
  
Harry meanwhile was sitting trying to picture himself as a member of this class as he so very nearly was. It was a terrifying notion. Which of these groups would he have belonged to? Who would his friends be? Would he have friends?  
  
The bell rang signalling the first class and, following the more accurate directions given by the teacher with the register (Mrs Sanderson), made their way to this strange new subject called 'chemistry'.  
  
A/N wow. This story finally has more than one chapter. Hope it's ok. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: HP belongs to JKR not me.  
  
SO MANY REVIEWS! Thank you! Sorry for keeping you waiting. Have been working on my other fic 'abandoned' (now 11 chapters long, go me!)  
  
MUGGLE EXPERIENCE CHAPTER 3  
  
As the three boys entered the chemistry class they noticed chemistry apparatus on every desk. They took a seat at the back of the class. The desk was covered with graffiti. Ron decided to reply to 'Gary woz 'ere' by scribbling 'so was I' underneath in a different colour pen.  
  
"What's the fun in writing with these bits of plastic? Quills are much better." Draco moaned, trying to force an upside down ink cartridge into his fountain pen. At that moment the classroom door opened and a mean looking woman entered. She walked straight up to Harry, Ron and Draco's desk and said  
  
"Exchange students?"  
  
"Yes." Replied Harry  
  
"Hmmm.." She looked at Ron "You. What's your name?"  
  
"Ron Weasley" Ron said anxiously  
  
"come to me at the end of class. I am giving you a detention for graffiti on the desk."  
  
With that she swept up to the front of the class "OK as those of you who are not on a drug induced stupor may notice we have three new exchange students. Their very wise head teacher has decided to foist them on us for a few months." She proceeded to give a very dull lecture on neutralizing acids and alkalis, before instructing them to 'get on with it' and 'you break it you've bought it'.  
  
Harry Ron and Draco set up the apparatus as described on the blackboard and Ron muttered  
  
"You said chemistry was like potions, I never realised that you meant that we'd have a female version of Snape as a teacher."  
  
"I think it is a universal constant." Replied Harry  
  
"When will we ever need to do this in real life?" Ron whispered  
  
"Never. It's one of those pointless things that people who can't think of anything useful to teach make you do so they don't look incompetent." Said Malfoy  
  
"yeah, remember when we spent a whole double potions class making an antidote for people who accidentally swallow that ink that changes colour as you write?" Said Harry.  
  
"It could happen. Anyway look at what Lupin taught us about Grindelow. I mean how often in the average lifetime do people go swimming in demon infested waters?!" Draco countered defending his favourite teacher.  
  
"Once so far." Harry replied  
  
"You don't count." Said Draco testily  
  
It had now come to a difficult part of the experiment so they lapsed into silence. Draco was pouring some acid into a beaker when Ron had to bend down to pick up the ridiculously sized safety goggles that had fallen off (again) and bumped Draco.  
  
Draco dropped said beaker and it the acid splashed onto the sleeve of his jumper. He gave a frightened yell, pulled the jumper off and lobbed it across the room (nearly strangling himself on the science apron that he forgot he was wearing).  
  
"well done Neville" Ron said deciding it was worth insulting one of his friends to get one over on Draco.  
  
"It was your fault Weasley."  
  
"If you were looking at what you were doing." Said Harry leaping to Ron's defence.  
  
"Nobody asked you Potter."  
  
The bell signalling the end of class rang out. The teacher strode to the desk, threw Ron a detention slip. Put a handful of paper towel over the spilt acid and said  
  
"Blonde boy. That'll be £2.50 for the beaker and if you behave dangerously in my class again you'll get a detention with your friend here." Harry gave the woman the right money out of Draco's wallet and left for geography. Draco having put on his jumper that now had a large hole in the sleeve.  
  
After geography and French it was lunchtime. They had actually coped well in geography as it just involved sitting around writing notes on immigration patterns throughout the world. French class had been easy for Draco who had travelled widely with his father, but nearly impossible for Harry and Ron who could only manage 'bonjour' and 'Oui' (hello and yes) from their observations of the Beaux batons that had visited Hogwarts for the triwizard tournament.  
  
The three of them made their way down to the crowded canteen and joined a long line. After about 15 minutes of their lunchtime had been wasted, they got their meals (cold chips and soggy pizza) and sat down.  
  
As Harry suspected Ron and Draco decided that this was ourtagous and complained almost constantly. Harry merely had to remember the powdered mash and cold (and solid) cheese flan that he had got at primary school and thought that in comparison this was really nice.  
  
When they finished eating, a group of burly looking prefects (who were in their chemistry class) told them that they now had to go out into the playground or the library until the next class. After hearing Ron and Draco say simultaneously "What's a playground?" Harry decided to show them.  
As they walked outside onto the gloomy rectangle of concrete, Draco decided to look disgusted again and Ron got back that frightening 'excited' look that he had worn earlier as he noticed a group of boys playing football. "Should we ask if we can join in?"  
  
"we don't even know them."  
  
"What's so interesting about a sport where the only challenge is kicking a ball into a net? There isn't even any danger. What's the point?" asked Draco.  
  
"They seem to be enjoying it." Ron said "Harry can you tell me the rules, we could get a football at the weekend and bring it in to play next week!"  
  
"Uh.it's been a while since I played..but OK"  
  
"Well, well, well look what we have here"  
  
Harry spun around and found himself face to face with Malcom and Piers, old friends of Dudley's that used to try and beat him up when he was younger.  
  
"Hi" Said Harry uncomfortably. Ron and Draco hovered, expecting to be introduced.  
  
"Who are they?"  
  
"this is Ron and Draco. They are in my class at school. We are here for a few months"  
  
Piers walked around next to Harry put his arm around his shoulders and said "We were friends in primary school weren't we Harry?"  
  
Harry squirmed away "You were Dudley's friends."  
  
Piers then looked as though he had remembered something and said "We have some unfinished business don't we Potter?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"At the zoo. Remember? One minute you were talking to a snake and the next second it tried to kill me."  
  
Draco smirked. Harry reddened.  
  
"It did not try to kill you. It just slithered past on it's way to-" Harry stopped himself before he said something really stupid like 'Brazil'.  
  
"Yes.."  
  
"the door." Harry finished  
  
"You know what I remember most about you Potter?" Malcom said "Beating you up and stealing your lunch. Got any left?" Draco was now grinning widely, Ron was glaring.  
  
Piers called over some of his friends and they pinned Harry against the wall. Ron pulled them off before they could hurt Harry and they turned away, deciding the library would be a better lunchtime shelter.  
  
Malcom and co were not going to let them get away with this and decided to give chase. Harry and Ron ran. Draco stayed where he was (being ignored by the gang and was doubled over with laughing.)  
  
At the end of a considerable fight (Whereby two people held Ron back and the rest of the gang chased then beat up Harry. For some unknown reason Draco decided to join in halfway through and Ron broke away from those holding him back and jumped in) Harry was feeling like he did in primary school. He had several bruises and broken glasses, which he taped together. At least this time he had a friend.  
  
All in all he was happy when the school day drew to a close and the three of them who had lost the fight miserably traipsed back to the Dursley house.  
  
"Why did you join in?" Ron asked Draco  
  
"It was humiliating, seeing two pure blood wizards getting beaten up by some dim-witted muggles."  
  
"We still lost though"  
  
"Let us never speak of it again."  
  
A/N What do you think? As this was originally my brothers story, any suggestions for what happens next will be greatly appreciated! 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- not mine, not making any money etc etc  
  
Thanks For Rewiews!!!  
  
Sorry I haven't mentioned everyone by name. Am grateful for all reviews.  
  
Talmahoy; thanks!  
  
Azaelia Sapphire; thanks for the idea  
  
Heathe; good idea thank you  
  
Labtc; unfortunately my brother cannot think of the end - it's why he gave it to me. His long suffering big sister.  
MUGGLE EXPERIENCE CHAPTER 4  
  
When the three reached the Dursley house, the door was wrenched open by Aunt Petunia (Who had been looking out for them through the net curtains) and they were pulled inside by their ties before the door was slammed shut behind them.  
  
"go and sit in the front room." She barked to the two shocked boys and a resigned Harry.  
  
The three of them sat down in the front room, and aunt Petunia returned to the kitchen. Draco looked around at the many photos that lined the walls as Harry and Ron flopped tiredly.  
  
"Do muggles make any potions that make bruises disappear?" Ron asked Harry.  
  
"No."  
  
"Who are these photos of?" Draco said in disgust.  
  
"my cousin, Dudley. He's away at school."  
  
"Why are there none of you?"  
  
Harry shrugged.  
  
"is there anything to eat?" Ron said hopefully  
  
"Go and ask." Draco said to Harry.  
  
Harry sighed and walked into the kitchen. Aunt Petunia was watching a celebrity gossip magazine.  
  
"Ahem."  
  
"what?"  
  
"Ron and Draco..Well, their hungry."  
  
"They can wait until dinner."  
  
Harry traipsed back into the living room pursued by aunt Petunia.  
  
"As my husband and I are so kindly taking you in, I must ask a small task of you." Harry looked at her suspiciously. He had experience of Petunia Dursley's 'small tasks'. They could take days.  
  
"we need this room to be redecorated. Vernon has bought the portrait and wall paper. Tonight you will clear the room and peel the wallpaper. The boy will show you what to do."  
  
With that she marched from the room.  
  
"She expects ME to do menial housework?! In the Muggle way!!!" Draco spat in horror.  
  
"Are you hungry?" Harry asked him  
  
"Yes Potter, we've already established that."  
  
"So do the work and stop moaning."  
  
Harry lifted one side of the TV and motioned for Ron to lift the other. Then they walked out the room with it. Ron was not complaining about the work as he suspected that Harry had to do this kind of thing all the time. Draco carried ob moaning anyway as it made him feel better.  
  
Once the furniture was cleared, Harry handed them each a bucket, sponge and scraper.  
  
"What do we do with this?" Draco said looking dubiously at the scraper.  
  
"Oh for goodness sake! Make the wall paper wet with a wet sponge and then scrape it off like this". Harry said demonstrating exasperatedly.  
  
"Ooooooohhhh." Draco and Ron said simultaneously.  
  
When they were finally finished, everyone had got wet and were covered in little pieces of paper. Halfway through scraping Harry had managed to stumble on the dustsheet on the floor and knocked the bucket over, Ron had got over enthusiastic and chipped little bits of plaster off the wall and Draco had stabbed his hand with his scraper.  
  
All in all they were not having a pleasant afternoon.  
  
Dinner was a quiet affair until halfway through the near silence, Draco said  
  
"why don't you get Potter to buy you a houself? They work for free and can use magic to do the work faster."  
  
Uncle Vernon's face did that funny colour-changing thing that it did whenever magic was mentioned. Ron stared.  
  
"Never mention anything about that ABNORMALITY under this roof!"  
  
"Abnormality?" Draco asked, confused.  
  
Harry was amazed that Malfoy was still alive  
  
"He means magic" Harry whispered quietly into Draco's ear.  
  
"Why?" said Draco  
  
"because it's..freakish" Vernon spluttered "It you want to eat while you're here, I suggest you don't mention it again!"  
  
Draco was aghast. How DARE that fat muggle threaten him. A Malfoy?! He could kill this man where he stood, and there he was threatening him!  
  
Vernon seemed to take Draco's horrified silence for an answer of ascent as he dropped the subject.  
  
It was now 10:00 pm. The three of them were exhausted.  
  
"I'm going to bed." Ron stated and he went upstairs, closely followed by Draco.  
  
Harry waited for them to disappear into his room before he walked up to the cupboard. He stood in front of it. Slowly he opened the door and gulped. Harry lay down on the tiny bed, leaving the door ajar as he couldn't quite bring himself to shut himself in there.  
  
Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were switching off lights and unplugging things in preparation for bed. On his way past, Vernon poked his head around the cupboard door and with a cruel smile said "Sweet dreams". He then shut and locked the door.  
  
Harry sat up. This couldn't be happening, not again. He leaned against the wall, back hunched in such a small space and took out the little torch he used to have hidden in there. He turned it on and stared at the opposite wall.  
  
Meanwhile, in Harry's room, Ron and Draco were huddled onto the big bed in terror. "Where did it go?"  
  
"I think it's over there." Draco said pointing to a corner of the room.  
  
"No it isn't. it ran that way."  
  
"You're imagining things Weasley. It's over there!"  
  
The spider ran across the floor nearer to the bed. Draco gave a small squeal of terror and he and Ron huddled together, eyes wide in fear.  
  
"Throw something at it!" Draco said  
  
"What?"  
  
"Dunno - how about that lamp?"  
  
"It might break"  
  
"You mean you might miss."  
  
"You throw it then!"  
  
Draco threw the lamp at the spider. It scuttled out the way and closed the bed.  
  
"Get Potter."  
  
"You get him."  
  
"You faced a bloody car sized spider once, get him!"  
  
"You get him!" the argument continued in this vain for some time until they both decided to go.  
  
Uncharacteristically close together, the two of them leapt off the bed to the other side of the room and out the door. They crept down the stairs and into the front room - nobody here.  
  
The dining room - nope  
  
Kitchen - nada  
  
Ron and Draco looked at each other in bewilderment before loudly whispering  
  
"Potter!" "Harry!"  
  
There was a muffled clatter from the cupboard under the stairs (Harry dropped his torch in his effort to switch it off)  
  
"What was that?" Ron whispered  
  
"It came from in there."  
  
Ron stepped edgily up to the door. It was locked. No - surely not.  
  
"Uh, Harry?" He whispered.  
  
"Damn." He heard from inside "Yes, I'm in here."  
  
Draco and Ron looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Ron un-bolted the door and opened it.  
  
"What are you doing in there?" Draco asked.  
  
"It used to be my bedroom" eyebrows rose even higher. "Uncle Vernon locked the door. Probably for a joke."  
  
The two looked dubiously at Harry, who stepped out and stretched.  
  
"Why does it have a lock in the first place?" Ron asked, suspecting the answer  
  
"Doesn't matter. Look why aren't you too asleep?"  
  
"Oh. There was a spider." Ron replied.  
  
"Couldn't you get rid of it?" Harry asked Draco. Then seeing the look on his face added "Not you as well! Ok take me to this Aragog sized creature."  
  
He followed them upstairs. They hovered by the door as Harry stepped into the room.  
  
By the lamp (why is it on the floor?) There was a penny sized spider. He walked stealthily up to it and picked it up. He then opened the window and placed it on the windowsill before closing the window.  
  
"So, uh, goodnight then."  
  
"You're going back to that cupboard?"  
  
"Where else?"  
  
"The spare room." Ron said  
  
Harry looked awkward "Look it's probably better if I just go back. Thanks for unlocking the door though." He then almost ran away from them and back downstairs.  
  
Malfoy smiled "Wait till I tell everyone he sleeps in a cupboard."  
  
"you're not going to tell anybody!"  
  
"How do you plan to stop me?"  
  
"How much do you want everyone to know that you had to get the boy-who- lived to rescue you from a small spider."  
  
"So did you."  
  
"I'm not ashamed."  
  
Malfoy glared at Ron and got into bed. Ron got into his own bed and turned away from Malfoy in disgust. 


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer: Don't own harry Potter  
  
THANKS FOR REVIEWS! Sorry it took so long to update (writers block)  
  
Muggle experience Chapter 4:  
  
Harry, Ron and Draco walked up the path towards the school, planning what to do if they ran into Dudley's old friends again.  
  
"We have to curse them!" Draco said  
  
"No. we're not supposed to!" Harry replied.  
  
"I could get my brothers to come and we could hang around outside at the end of school. That would make it look like we have a gang. They wouldn't DARE attack us after that!" Ron exclaimed  
  
"Weasley, there is nothing remotely threatening about your entire family line! They'd probably be less scared of us if they saw your brothers."  
  
"Yeah. So what do you suggest Malfoy! Going to write to daddy to sic you - know- who on them or something!?" Ron retorted  
  
"that would be a terrific idea except for 2 things. One, my father isn't a deatheater, Two, we could get killed by accident!"  
  
"Your father! Not a deatheater! I saw him and Voldemort together!" harry snapped  
  
"Yes, well you SEE lots of things don't you Potter?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?!"  
  
"Well, having seen that article in the Daily Prophet."  
  
"Shhhh" Ron hissed urgently, due to the face that the argument had carried them into the school, and they were about to get to their form room.  
  
The three of them sat down angrily as the teacher walked in and called the class into silence.  
After registration, the three boys walked to PE. Both Ron and Draco had been looking forward to this.  
  
They went into the changing room, and noticed with horror that it comprised of a large room with a bench going around the wall, a little room off to the side with showers in it.  
  
"What!" Draco spluttered  
  
"We have to get changed, in front of each other!"  
  
"guess so." Said Harry, as thirty other boys started taking their clothes off.  
  
Once the three were in their PE kits, they followed the others off to the sports hall.  
  
A large beefy man stood at the front, "The girls have the football pitch today, so I have decided to split the lesson into two different parts. For the first half of the lesson, we will do aerobics (the class groaned), then, crosscountry running. I've laid out a three mile route for toy to cover in less than 45 minutes (the class groaned again) Space yourselves out around the hall!"  
  
"Areobics?" Ron asked, the very pale Harry, who had never been brilliant at running.  
  
"jumping about. Supposed to be good for your heart, but judging by Aunt Petunia after her classes, I'd say that's a lie"  
  
The three boys separated out, but were still standing in a long line.  
  
A couple of the other students were embroiled in a furious argument with the teacher about how aerobics is for girls. The teacher, looking smug, threatened detention, sat on a chair and turned on some very loud music.  
  
He then sat there yelling out instructions etc "and jump, 2,3,4,5,6,7,8. Don't forget to raise your arms each time, 9, 10, 11,12 etc."  
  
Ron was putting so much effort in at first, that halfway through he fell to the floor panting, only to be given 10 pressups by the teacher. Harry and Draco had decided to follow the others in the class (doing half hearted jumps, and missing out the odd jump when the teacher wasn't looking).  
  
When the music stopped the class collapsed onto the floor breathing heavily, all very red in the face  
  
"What- was - the - point - in - that?" Harry gasped  
  
"They - are - pure - evil!" Draco puffed, as if his knowledge of what evil actually was, had just been redefined.  
  
"urghh" Puffed Ron in response.  
  
The teacher allowed five minutes for the class to get their breach back then sent them out to run.  
  
Harry noticed that a few very fit looking people sped off, but the rest of them went at a very slow jog out of the school grounds. Once out of sight of the school, the runners stopped.  
  
Harry noticed them all pull bus passes out of their pockets, along with cigarettes, and they stood around chatting.  
  
"Anyone got any money?" Harry asked. The other two shoot their heads. "We'll have to run then"  
  
"What are they doing?" Draco asked  
  
"I would assume, that they are taking the bus to the scheduled end of the race.  
  
"But don't you just end up back here at the end?"  
  
"No! we have to go around all those streets to get to the other side of the school, that's the track."  
  
"Know any short cuts?" Ron asked  
  
"No." Harry said bitterly  
  
So, the three continued to run, glaring at the bus that went past, containing all the students who waved merrily at the three wizards as they went by.  
  
When they got back to school, they were reprimanded for being so unfit, and sent directly to music, which they were late for. Fortunately, the lesson, comprised of watching a video, 'Oliver', so they could sit in the dark at the back of the class and doze.  
  
The problem with this was that the homework was to do an essay on the songs, and why they complemented the film so well. The three hoped that as they had all been asleep at different moments, that they could piece it together later.  
  
At lunchtime, they decided to go to the library. There they sat gown at the groupwork table, where quiet conversation was allowed and begun to flip aimlessly through books.  
  
At one point a girl came over and asked if she could do a questionnaire of Draco for Business studies homework, so he went off with her, and a couple of the guys from their form came and sat down opposite harry and Ron at the table.  
  
"You're reading the lord of the rings." One of them said  
  
Harry looked at the front cover of the book. "Yes, I am", he said. Then, deciding to be friendly, "I'm Harry and this is Ron."  
  
The boy gestured to himself "I'm Dave. And this is George"  
  
"I have a brother called George" Ron said, abandoning his own book 'What Katy did'.  
  
"Cool." Said George.  
  
"what do you think of Lord of the Rings?" Dave asked Harry  
  
"Uh. I haven't really got that far into it yet."  
  
"You really should read it. It's got wizards, elves, dwarves, a Dark Lord, who's like really evil and wants to enslave the world. And there's loads of fighting!" Ron stared  
  
"I like Gandalf best - he's the wizard. He's immortal and had a really cool staff, that he does magic with."  
  
"A staff." Ron said, grinning  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why not a wand?" Ron said  
  
"Please! He's a wizard. Not a magician."  
  
Ron raised his eyebrows  
  
"Why is he immortal?" Harry asked  
  
"all the wizards in the book are. So are the elves!" Dave said  
  
"I like Legolas best" George piped up "He's an elf - great at fighting with a bow!"  
  
"What do elves look like?" said harry, clearly trying to stop Ron blurting out the entire workings of the wizarding world.  
  
"They're tall, and like, really beautiful. Pointy ears. Good at fighting, although they prefer not to."  
  
Ron fell off his chair laughing.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Dave asked  
  
"probably forgot his pills or something." Harry said "I'll see you in class" he said pointedly. The two left looking curiously at Ron  
  
"Ron!" Harry hissed  
  
"Sorry, I just had a mental image of a really tall Dobby, slaying goblin hoards with a bow, wearing odd socks and a Weasley jumper." Ron snorted again then said "Tolkein did a brilliant job though."  
  
"What?" Harry asked  
  
"Every now and again the ministry gets a wizard to write a book for muggles about magic, so they think it's so, like incredible that it could never be real!"  
  
Draco marched over to the desk looking infuriated. "What's wrong with you?!" Harry snapped at Draco.  
  
After a few minutes he finally replied, as though he was so angry he couldn't hold it in a second longer  
  
"I was assaulted! That muggle girl had no intention of doing homework! She led me to a deserted corridor and -" He gulped "The bitch stuck her tongue down my throat!"  
  
"What did you do?" Ron asked trying to keep a straight face  
  
"I left."  
  
"You ran away" Harry said. And with that both Harry and Ron collapsed into fits of hysterical laughter. Draco got up and stormed out, muttering about revenge.  
  
A/N: yay! Another chapter. Have to leave it there I'm afraid. Please review! 


	6. chapter 6

Disclaimer - not mine  
  
THANKS FOR REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: once again my brother has decided to show an interest in this story so this chapter is written based on the ideas he so kindly provided. (ahem)  
  
Muggle Experience chapter 6  
  
During the afternoon class (textiles), Harry, Ron and Draco sat around the table - Draco still looking angry about the lunchtime incident. They were all to sew two pieces of material together, which would be stuffed to make cushions.  
  
Draco was having extreme difficulty threading his needle and was muttering steadily worse curses as he went on. Harry was showing Ron how to sew, even though his wasn't exactly brilliant.  
  
"Pull the needle up here, like this see, then put it back through here"  
  
"I like transfiguration better" Ron whispered quietly, leaning over the sewing in his lap, tongue between his teeth in concentration "we make useful things."  
  
"aaaaaah!" Draco screamed.  
  
"What?" Harry said sharply, looking up a draco. Draco had a needle sticking out of his finger  
  
"This, is, stupid!!"  
  
"Only because you can't do it." Harry said "if you like I can thread it for y-"  
  
"No!" Draco snapped, then with an insane glint in his eye added, "this WILL NOT defeat me!"  
  
At the end of class, everyone stood up and stuffed their things back into their bags.  
  
"Oh no." Ron said "Harry, Help me!"  
  
Harry laughed, Ron had - somehow - managed to sew his cushion to his trouser leg. Harry grabbed scissors and cut it off of him - thereby undoing all of Ron's work.  
  
At the lockers the three, overheard Piers and Malcom talking in excited voices  
  
"Did she do it?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"How much did you pay her?"  
  
"Couple of quid."  
  
Another boy walked up to them "Pay who?"  
  
"Oh, Piers paid Lizzie to snog that really stuck up exchange student, you know the blond one."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, apparently he ran away."  
  
"Why would he run?"  
  
"do you even know who Lizzie is?"  
  
"no." the boy admitted dubiously  
  
"they call her the succubus! She attaches herself to you and - well..It's horrible." Malcom shuddered  
  
Harry and Ron dragged Draco outside before they ended up in another fight, and left the school grounds.  
Draco was walking along at such a speed that the others had to run to keep up.  
  
"I think that every one of those muggle loving fools on at the ministry of magic should have to do this. They would all immediately become deatheaters!" Draco nearly yelled.  
  
"Malfoy, Calm down!" Harry yelled  
  
just then, Draco caught sight of Piers walking home, alone. He gave a strangled yell and sprinted across the road, nearly getting run over on the process. He leapt on Piers, pinning him to the ground and began to punch him, hard.  
  
Harry and Ron looked on in shock. Ron was cheering for piers under his breath. Harry was just watching s Piers flipped Draco over and began to punch him. The two rolled on the floor, hitting each other hard. When Piers was clearly loosing Draco stood up. And looked down at him, sneer firmly in place.  
  
Piers raised his foot, right into Draco's groin. Draco leapt back, reached into his jacket and pulled out the long smooth stick that was his wand.  
  
Harry and Ron leapt into action, flinging themselves at Draco "Cru- argh" Ron wrestled the wand out of his hand and pulled him by the sleeves of his coat towards privet Drive.  
Harry slammed the front door behind them.  
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing?!"  
  
"That muggle deserved to be killed for -"  
  
"For pulling a harmless prank?" Harry retorted angrily  
  
"Oh, trust the beloved boy who lived to take the moral standpoint! You weren't there. It was Humiliating!"  
  
"That was no excuse" Ron yelled, jumping into the fray.  
  
"What do you know Weasley?" Draco shouted at Ron  
  
"Shut up you freaks!" Aunt petunia shouted at them, running into the room. She gave them each a paint can and brush. "go in there and paint the skirting boards."  
  
Glaring at each other darkly, the three marched into the living room and began to paint.  
  
After about an hour, there was a knock on the front door. Petunia answered and after a lot of tense conversation that the boys couldn't quite hear, the living room door opened.  
  
In walked Albus Dumbledore. He smiled benignly at them all  
  
"hello boys. Being kept busy I see."  
  
"Hi Professor." They all said.  
  
"Harry, I have been reviewing the protection wards around you and have found a way to increase them. I am going to make all of you undetectable by magic."  
  
"why?" Ron asked  
  
"I want you all to be protected because of the threat on Harry."  
  
"How does it work?" Harry asked  
  
"nobody can detect you or anything you do without the assistance of the caster - me, and, except for the scheduled examination times, that will not happen."  
  
Dumbledore stood and began chanting at then, giving them all potions to swallow.  
  
Once he was finished he left swiftly. Draco was grinning evilly.  
  
"Yes?" Ron asked  
  
"With this spell, nobody will be able to tell if we do magic - how do you think deatheaters get away with so much?"  
  
"Daddy tell you that did he?" Ron asked, although he too was smiling  
  
"No. I just - heard it somewhere.."  
  
"riiiight" Harry replied 


	7. chapter 7

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! To everyone who reviewed!  
  
Sorry it's been so long, my teachers are evil and do not think that we should have ANY time in our lives for things like fun, eating, sleeping, breathing.you get the idea.  
  
MUGGLE EXPERIENCE: CHAPTER 7  
  
The next day was a Friday. The three boys had spent the entire previous night plotting revenge against Malcom, Piers and their gang. Harry and Ron were a bit worried about whether or not it was wrong at first. Then Draco had reminded them of Malcom's lunch stealing and beating up.  
  
So, as they sat around the kitchen table eating breakfast, they could barely keep their eyes open. Vernon and Petunia were none the wiser to the nocturnal gathering as Harry had cast a silencing charm around the bedroom. Vernon glared at them all  
  
"this weekend you are all to be on your best behaviour. Dudley is coming home for a visit."  
  
Harry choked. Ron looked amused (remembering the ton tongue toffee).  
  
"The boy from the photos?" Draco asked, gesturing to a large portrait of the enormous boy hanging on the wall.  
  
"Yes." Aunt Petunia said proudly. "his school allow monthly weekend visits home."  
  
"oh." Draco said. "How come Harry never comes here when he's allowed home?"  
  
Harry decided that was enough from the curious one for now and exclaimed, "Look at the time! We've got to go!"  
  
"We've got ages!" Draco said  
  
"Not if you want to get a football on the way to use at lunchtime." Harry argued  
  
"Yes let's go now." Ron said looking excited again. The two of them dragged Draco from the room before an awkward looking Aunt Petunia attempted an answer.  
  
The three boys marched away from the house and down the road. "What was the hurry? I don't want to learn stupid football anyway."  
  
"Well I do." Ron snapped.  
  
"Can't you just shut up at the dinner table. My aunt and uncle don't like people asking questions. Especially stupid ones like that, I mean, would you want to go home every holiday if you were related to them?!"  
  
"Not really. I only asked to piss you off. You're so hypersensitive about them."  
  
Harry crushed the overwhelming desire to punch the smug little git in the face and instead, doubled his pace. Ron ran to keep up. Draco hung back looking satisfied on a job well done.  
  
"Harry! Slow down." Ron panted  
  
"No!"  
  
"Look, just ignore him. I'll help you curse him later, but first, what about the plan?"  
  
"alright." Harry slowed down, and with a nasty glare at Malfoy walked into the shop. He helped Ron select a football.  
  
"What sports are these for?!" Ron exclaimed at the large collection of balls and bats.  
  
"Golf, cricket, tennis, badminton and hockey." Harry said pointing as he went.  
  
"Wow." Said Ron in awe. "Can you show - "  
  
"Lets tackle football first." Harry said, cutting Ron off.  
  
After they paid, they headed towards school. Malfoy was nowhere in sight. Outside the school gates they could clearly see Piers and friends talking excitedly.  
  
Feeling a hand grab the back of each of their jumpers they gave identical noises of surprise as they were pulled into an alleyway. "Shut up you idiots." Draco hissed. "Follow me."  
  
Draco pulled then in the shadows nearer to the conversing gang.  
  
"Then he like, pulled out a twig. The other two ran up looking really scared and pulled him away, like they thought he was going to stab me to death with it or something."  
  
"Weird." Malcom replied. "at lunchtime they're dead."  
  
The gang swaggered into the school. "They were going to attack us a at lunch?" Ron said  
  
"We'll get them first"  
  
the first class was drama. Draco and Harry were partners. Ron was partnered with a girl who kept staring at him. "Weasley's got himself a girlfriend." Draco said with a smirk.  
  
"don't be stupid." Harry said.  
  
The class were sitting in a large circle on the floor. The girl with blonde curly hair and freckles kept inching closer to Ron. Ron then inched further from her. By the time the drama teacher had finished the register, Ron was almost sitting on the knee of the boy next to him, and there was a gap of about a foot between the curly haired girl and the person next to her. The boy next to Ron was eyeing him as if he thought he was a pervert and would attack at any second.  
  
The drama teacher eyeing the strange behaviour going on in her circle of students stood up. "Right. We are going to begin the lesson with a period of relaxation, then we can go into doing improvisations based on the start of Shakespearean play Mac Beth.  
  
Spread yourselves out around the room and lay down." The class stood up to choose their relaxing places. "Now." Draco muttered to Harry and Ron.  
  
They all nodded at each other a couple of times and then discreetly pointed their wands at the gang and muttered a spell. They then spread out and lay down on the floor, smiling widely.  
  
"Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing." The teacher then instructed them to breath to her counting and to visualise certain situations.  
  
Ron, Harry and Draco were having immense difficulty with this because of the desire to giggle. As they all lay there with their eyes closed, they all had half grins/half grimaces on their faces due to the effort involved in staying calm.  
  
Ron cracked first. The silence of the room was broken by a loud snort of hysteria from Ron. Spurned on by this Harry and Draco also snorted and they all clutched their ribs as they giggled hysterically.  
  
"That's enough!" The teacher snapped.  
  
After being threatened with a detention they shut up and joined in with the rest of the class.  
  
After the 'relaxation' everyone was instructed to sit around with their partner and another set, making 4 people. The class was to practice the witches scene from Mac Beth in a modern light.  
  
Harry, Ron, Draco and the girl, revealed to be called Emily, sat in their four. Upon catching sight of Draco, Emily abandoned her worshipping of Ron and began to fawn over Draco instead.  
  
"Ahem." Harry said loudly, as another round of inching began. "Has anybody here actually read this scene from Mac Beth?"  
  
Emily immediately looking excited exclaimed, "I have." Then became silent, gazing at Draco with longing.  
  
"Well?" Ron asked testily, sitting between Draco and the girl.  
  
"it's the bit where the witches sit around a cauldron. Can't remember what they're doing exactly. They chant a lot. 'boil, boil, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble'. Something like that anyway, I'm not really sure."  
  
"So basically we have to pretend to make an evil potion, only in a 'modern way'" Draco sneered.  
  
"I don't think the potion is important. I think we have to imagine what a modern day witch would be like." Emily said  
  
"If making an evil potion." Harry added.  
  
"Yeah. So, first, you have to pretend to be female." Emily directed  
  
"What? Why can't there be men?" Ron asked  
  
"Because they're witches!"  
  
"So, why can't wizards be making the potion?"  
  
Emily ground her teeth "Because they're witches! Men can't do that!"  
  
"Why?" Draco asked  
  
"They just can't!" Emily exclaimed.  
  
They were interrupted by a loud crash "Showtime!" Draco crowed.  
  
Piers, Malcom and two other boys were arguing in slurred voices!  
  
"She's my girlfriend!"  
  
"Nah man! She's mine innit!"  
  
Malcom took at a swing at his friend and missed. He fell atop him and knocked the others to the floor at the same time. They began to laugh hysterically, and made several, failed attempts to get off each other.  
  
The teacher stormed over to them and attempted to pull them apart. Upon catching scent of Piers's breath she screeched "Have you been drinking?!"  
  
"No (hic)." Piers shouted far too loudly "They 'ave though!"  
  
"No we haven't!" the other three shouted back. Looking quite terrified the teacher sent some of the others to get the security workers in the school.  
  
A drunken brawl ensued, the rest of the class standing pressed back into the corners of the hall. Objects were being thrown. Harry had to use his wand to avoid being hit by a chair.  
  
When security arrived, along with the head teacher, they separated the boys and the head teacher shouted about suspension. The boys tramped out of the room and, arms linked began to sing loudly and drunkenly "Nobody loves me! Everybody hates me!..."  
  
The class were either still looking scared or finding the whole situation very funny.  
  
The teacher called early break time, and left the drama hall, drawing a hip flask from her handbag.  
  
"Inebriation spell." Draco laughed. "Gotta remember that one."  
  
"I wonder what Snape is like drunk. We should do it on him." Ron whispered in Harry's ear.  
  
The three of them dissolved into laughter again.  
  
A/N That's it for now. Football and Dudley in the next chapter!! While you wait, allow me to point you in the direction of my other fics (blushes and coughs nervously, due to hatred of plugs like this one) 


	8. chapter 8

Disclaimer: don't own Harry Potter  
  
A/N: I am so sorry that I haven't updated in such a huge period of time - I have had major writers block with it. (any suggestions will be greatly appreciated)  
  
Thank you to everyone that reviewed  
  
Muggle Experience Chapter 8!!!!!  
  
The bell signalling the end of the day rang out and the three wizards headed out. Their prank had them in stitches all day. The 'drunkenness' was the talk of the school and everyone else from the class were telling excited (but not very realistic) stories of what had occurred, ranging from the slightly exaggerated (they were drinking out of cans of Lager) to the So - exaggerated - it - is - hardly - recognisable -as - the - same - story (they were all high on drugs, had knives and were actually involved in a lord of the rings style gang warfare).  
  
As they walked up the street Harry felt as though a lead weight had settled in his stomach. That night Vernon would go to collect Dudley. Ron was trying valiantly to cheer him up  
  
"We could always write to Gred and Forge for more of those ton tongue toffees."  
  
"He's stupid, but not stupid enough to eat the sweets from a wizard again." Harry said scornfully  
  
"Well why don't you curse him?" Draco said with a bite of impatience.  
  
"The Dursleys would kill us!" Harry replied  
  
"Huh. Like to see them try." Draco responded  
  
Just as they were about to turn into Privet Drive, Harry stopped dead. "I don't want to go back yet. We have a football. Park anyone?"  
  
"Ok" Draco replied rather mildly, and Ron took the leather ball out of his bag and proceeded to carry it as though it was some kind of trophy.  
  
Once they got to the large field, Harry used his jumper and bag as goal posts.  
  
"Ron, Give me yours too so we can have an opposing goal."  
  
They placed them on the floor parallel to Harry's.  
  
"Right, the rules are basic. Two teams, goalkeeper on each. The other six players on each team have to either score goals or help to defend their own."  
  
"Right."  
  
Draco snorted and sat down. "There's only three of us Potter, how the hell are we supposed to play a game?!"  
  
"if I show you the basics of dribbling, passing and stuff then maybe next time we can find some others to join us."  
  
"Fine! But I'm playing on the other team."  
  
"Wearing green as well?" Harry replied bitingly, annoyed at the blonde's persistent attitude problem.  
  
"Ok. Malfoy. I want you to stand in goal. Your objective is to stop the ball passing between the jumper and the bag. Ron and I will take turns kicking the ball at you."  
  
"Can we pick it up and throw?" Ron asked  
  
"No. That's why it's called FOOTball."  
  
"Only asking." Ron muttered, offended  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Can I touch it with my hands?" Draco asked  
  
"yes"  
  
For about an hour and a half the boys played, taking turns in different positions, then practicing passing. When they finally decided to leave they were all red in the face and puffed out. Harry glanced at his watch, and his eyes widened.  
  
"Dudley'll be back in a minute. We've got to get back before everything you hold dear is trashed."  
  
The three wizards ran back towards the Dursley house at a sprint.  
  
Upon reaching number 4 they noticed Uncle Vernon and an extremely large boy enter the house. Breaking into a run they reached the door before it was closed. Dudley turned to see who had entered behind him and his jaw fell open.  
  
"What's HE doing here?!"  
  
"The boy's freaky school has thrown him and those other two out for a few months to see how 'normal' people live. We are being paid to take them in."  
  
Dudley glared at Harry then went slightly pale at the sight of Ron. Holding his hand over his mouth, Dudley ran up the stairs, causing the whole house to shake. Vernon and Petunia snapped something to the three wizards about getting on with the decorating and they stormed into the kitchen.  
  
"Harry, I have to say that you're entire family are the most strange people I've ever met." Ron said shaking his head in wonderment.  
  
"What was the mouth thing about?" Draco said looking sickened at the whole situation.  
  
"He's afraid Ron's going to poison him like his brothers did I expect."  
  
"It would be understandable, I hear that given the right muggles, muggle torture can be quite entertaining. If you ever want them assassinated, just let me know. I could put you in with the right people - for a fee." Draco said in a false kind voice before leading the way into the living room.  
  
Ron looked torn between amusement and anger. Harry on the other hand kept a mental note of the offer and followed the other two into the half decorated room, pretending he wasn't tempted by it.  
  
Dinner that evening was a tense affair. Everyone at the table had a minuscule portion of chicken served with salad. Dudley, upon returning to Smeltings had been told that he had to continue on the diet.  
  
Harry poked at a slice of tomato with his fork, while Dudley kept up a running commentary about how popular he was and about how much his teachers adored him.  
  
Draco dropped his fork with a clatter after about 5 minutes of the meal and seemed to be waiting for a pause in Dudley's speech.  
  
"Ahem!" He said loudly, earning him a glare from the muggles.  
  
"What! Diddy was talking weren't you?" Dudley nodded, smirking at Draco  
  
"I wondered what we are having for the main course." Draco said.  
  
"That was the main course. We are on a diet. Continue Diddy - Whatever did Mr Fletcher do next?" Petunia said through clenched teeth.  
  
Draco sat there shocked. These muggles grew ruder by the day! "Why are we on a diet?"  
  
"Because we want to loose weight." Vernon snapped.  
  
"I don't." Draco replied forcefully, "and this is an unacceptable meal."  
  
Vernon's face began to turn purple. Harry stamped anxiously on Draco's foot.  
  
"Keep out of this Potter! Look - Dumbledore is paying you a large sum of money for this and so far you have treated us with none of the respect that our kind deserve, forced us to redesign your front room, and now you starve us!"  
  
Harry edged slowly away. Ron close behind him. Vernon looked fit to explode. He raised his fist.  
  
Harry was about to shout something along the lines of "Nooooooooooooooooooo" but his aunt beat him to it.  
  
"No Vernon! We agreed to take the brats in. Just ignore them!" Vernon sat down heavily in his seat - panting slightly. Grabbing Draco by the back of his jumper , Harry dragged Draco from the room and up the stairs.  
  
"You idiot!" Harry shouted.  
  
"You're just jealous, because unlike you I don't just sit back and take it!"  
  
"I don't!"  
  
Draco slumped onto Harry's bed and grabbed a handful of sweets from his schoolbag.  
  
Ron joined him. "Isn't there something - magical we can do about this?"  
  
Harry sighed and sat down on the camp bed. "Doubt it."  
  
"Well I'm not going to sleep till I think of something because this is unacceptable!"  
  
Draco flung the lid of his trunk open and began throwing books at Harry and Ron. "You two are going to help me!"  
  
Feeling slightly winded now that he had been struck in the chest with a charms textbook he puffed "We - can't - hex - the - Dursley's!"  
  
"Why not?" Ron asked "I've had enough of watching them treat you like scum!"  
  
Ron began flicking through the book from Draco about revenge curses - grinning evilly at a page about spontaneous muggle combustion.  
  
Draco opened his book on the Dark arts 'Recommended by Durmstrang!'.  
  
Looking between his best friend and the boy that he thought he hated he sighed again - this time in resignation. "Fine but if they find out and throw me out you two have to buy me a house!"  
  
"Whatever Potter."  
  
Harry opened his book and began reading. 'Hmm..' Harry thought 'shrinking charms - maybe that's work for Dudley and Uncle Vernon..' He folded down the corner of the page.  
  
"Oi!" Draco shouted, snatching the book from Harry and straightening the pages out carefully. "This is a first edition!"  
  
"It's just a book," Harry said  
  
"Go read your own!"  
  
As Harry felt far too lazy to get off the bed to go to his trunk he lay down and was soon sleeping.  
  
"Let's hex him while he's asleep." Draco suggested, "Turn him green!"  
  
"Don't even think about it!" Ron replied, taking his own wand out just in case.  
  
At three am, Harry was snapped out of a dream being crushed by a giant football by a shout of "Eureka!" from Malfoy  
  
"Huh?" Harry said sleepily.  
  
"I've got the perfect thing! But by the grades you two seem to get in potions I think you'll have to leave this to me." Draco said  
  
"What is it?" Ron asked trying to see what Draco was reading  
  
"You'll find out tomorrow. I am going to make the three muggles a 'sorry' cup of coffee in the morning. You'll see then. Now go back to sleep. I need to concentrate"  
  
"Why don't you go off the cupboard then?" Harry asked "nobody will disturb you there."  
  
Nodding Draco grabbed some stuff from his trunk and left the room.  
  
"Wow. I didn't think he'd actually go!" Harry said flopping back onto the pillows.  
  
"You don't think he's going to hurt them do you?" Ron asked  
  
"No. both of us know that he's going to add potion to their coffee. He's not stupid. Too many witnesses."  
  
"Yeah. he's too Slytherin for that." Ron replied.  
  
A look of great distain plastered on his face Ron laid on the other bed and the two Griffindors fell asleep. 


	9. chapter 9

Dislaimer: don't own, not making money so don't sue!  
  
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Muggle 9  
  
Harry awoke the next morning hearing someone knock on the bedroom door next to his - Dudley's room. there was a sleepy grunt from within the room, then whoever had knocked on the door left the room, moving onto Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia's room.  
  
Harry rolled over in bed, hoping to go back to sleep. Suddenly a Draco's plan surfaced in his mind. He sat bolt upright.  
  
"Ron!" he whispered urgently "Ron!"  
  
"What?" came the sleepy reply  
  
"Draco's just gone into the Dursleys rooms!"  
  
"Wha- Oh!" Ron replied and sat up also.  
  
Draco came bounding into the room and sat down on Harry's bed, crushing his legs.  
  
"Ow! Get off!" Draco inched off them grumpily  
  
"Well where am I supposed to sit?"  
  
Harry moved his legs with a glare so that Draco had somewhere to sit. "What have you given them?"  
  
"You'll see." Draco said with barely controlled mirth.  
  
"Tell us now!" Ron demanded.  
  
"Just have patience! Honestly, some people!"  
  
Harry and Ron looked at each other in irritation, but gave up, sighing.  
  
Pulling out their homework, they waited for the Dursleys to get up.  
  
A shout of "Breakfast boys!" came from downstairs. Draco smiled.  
  
"ready?"  
  
Harry and Ron nodded edgily and the three made their way downstairs and into the kitchen. Aunt Petunia was placing plates full of fried bread, bacon, egg and sausages onto the table. Dudley was happily munching at a grapefruit quarter.  
  
Feeling slightly concerned that he had just stepped into a parallel universe; Harry sat down and picked up his knife and fork. The others did the same.  
  
"Did you sleep well boys?" Petunia asked them  
  
"Fine thank you Mrs Dursley." Draco replied cheerily  
  
Harry and Ron stared at each other open mouthed for a short while before muttering "Fine thanks"  
  
Vernon stuck his head into the room and with a large genuine smile called "Good morning! I am just off to the paper shop, You boys want anything?"  
  
"some chocolate would be nice." Draco replied sweetly  
  
"Righty oh." Vernon replied and left the room whistling 'it's a small world'.  
  
Once the boys were finished with breakfast Harry pointedly said "Ron, Malfoy, I think we need to go into the garden - NOW."  
  
"Make sure you wear your coats, it's awfully chilly out there, I don't want you to catch a cold!" Petunia said in a happy voice as she ushered them out into the garden.  
  
Once outside Harry and Ron turned on Draco "What on earth did you do?! it's like the twilight zone in there!" Harry shouted  
  
"I can't BELIEVE you're complaining potter!" Draco said in irritation.  
  
"Yeah, it's a nice change" Ron commented  
  
Harry sighed in exhasperation "It is now, but what about when the potion wears off?"  
  
"what is the potion?" Ron asked in awe of the Slytherin  
  
"it's a suggestibility potion. One spoonful and you'll believe anything you're told in the next 5 minutes. The potion lasts for a few days. When it wears of they won't even remember that anything was different."  
  
"so you've hypnotised them into being nice to us?" Harry asked  
  
"yeah, in simple terms." Draco said "as that seems to be all your mind is able to comprehend"  
  
Harry smiled, evilly. Ron looked shocked at the expression, then seemed lit by a sudden idea, "we could give it to the teachers so that they don't give us any homework!"  
  
"Don't be an idiot Weasley! God, no wonder you aren't a Slytherin. Dumbledore and the other teachers are being sent our grades - if they notice that we're not getting any homework, don't you think they'd be a bit suspicious?"  
  
Ron grunted in irritation. Dudley broke the awkward silence by bounding into the garden with a skipping rope.  
  
Harry's eyes widened in shock as Draco doubled over with laughter. "I never thought I'd see that." Harry remarked as he watched the enormous boy bounce up and down.  
  
"I 'suggested' that he could do with getting some exercise. I expected him to go running or something not-"  
  
"harry! If you and a friend hold each end and swing it round and round I can jump in the middle!" Dudley said happily.  
  
"Uh. Ok." Harry answered, and muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Ron - "go get my camera. If I don't have hard evidence of this I'll think I was hallucinating."  
  
Ron nodded and ran into the house while Harry turned the rope for his evil cousin.  
  
At lunchtime the boys went bgack inside. Vernon and Petunia were as usual looking out the window talking about the neighbours, but their dialogue was quite different. Instead of comments like "And Her at number 6 invited the milkman in this morning - again! I wonder how she'll explain that one away to her husband."  
  
They were saying  
  
"isn't her hair nice!"  
  
"ooo it's that charming milkman again."  
  
"What a nice colour their front door is now!"  
  
Upon catching sight of the three wizards Vernon gave them a handful of chocolate bars each and pointed them towards the lunch table. Commenting on how nicely ruffled Harry's hair looked.  
  
They were all beginning to feel a bit sick, by that afternoon. "I think I'm dying of fluff poisoning." Draco moaned as Petunia went over to brush his hair, asking how he got it to lie so flat.  
  
"I think you may have gone a bit overboard Malfoy." Harry commented, when Petunia had wandered off to answer the phone. "next time try to tone it down just a bit."  
  
Ron nodded in agreement.  
  
"Fine! But next time you help me to think of what to say to them, for them to believe."  
  
"Ok." Harry responded and the three of them sat back in the fluffy madness and waited for it to go away. 


End file.
